That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Randomize
