i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
