if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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