If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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