I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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