I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
