DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
