I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Are my feet made of real feet?
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
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