Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize
