His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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