Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
