Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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