it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
