Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
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