I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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