Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
