Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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