sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
this hospital has no fireball
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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