the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
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