New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
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