She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
