Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
