Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Randomize
