I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
