i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
