I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
