He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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