I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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