The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
