My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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