That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
