Do you still have your period?
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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