why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
