They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
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