Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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