i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
