Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
