I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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