lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
