You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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