i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
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