so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
My ass is underappreciated
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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