That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
