how hairy? two words: wookie tits
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
