she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
