Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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