so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
