shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
