This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
