A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Is it penis luge time yet?
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
