girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
