bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
