Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
