you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
The uberlube is also flammable
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
